Friday, August 1, 2008

What are you doing lately?


The first time a person ever asked me about ambition is at some point during my kindergarten stage. I remembered each and every one of us in the class is supposed to tell all and sundry about their ambition and what they want to become when they have grow up. I by no means ever think about that matter before, until that particular moment which I was required to come up with one. So, apparently I have not had any idea of what am I going to become when I grow up. I am 6 at that time, so what do you expect? So what I do, I have this close friend at that moment; I call him ‘Boboy’. We were so close that I have once had a dream of him and calling his name in the midst of the night which makes when I wake up the next morning my parents commence to ask me why am I calling his name when I sleep, I’m flabbergasted and begin asking myself until now: why?

So I ask him, what is his ambition and why? So he replied that he wants to grow to be a policeman because they can carry a handgun everywhere they go. So, after a while I also sought to become a policeman. I also smugly tell the teacher about my ambition of becoming a policeman just like my close friend. So since than I always be the one who will be the first to call out ‘Police and thief’ game every time I meet with my gang. But, I enjoy being a thief every time we were playing the game because it’s hard for me to be a policeman who’s required to catch the entire thief gang as I’m a fat boy back then. But at least as a thief, am also tolerable to carries a gun along. So, we play!

The next thing I remembered, I wanted to become a postman. It was all just because I enjoy riding motorcycle with my older friend, and a mailman does ride that while working. I didn’t realize at that time that the wage as a mailman is low and the idea will never be agreed by my parents. What really matters to me as to wanting to become a mailman is just the motorcycle itself. But, at least my teacher at that time supports me with my idea by saying that I’m dissimilar compared to others. I don’t exactly know her exact intention by saying that, but even if she’s trying to be sarcastic to me at that time I don’t mind because I was only 7 years old.

When I was in standard 3 yet again I change my ambition to become a doctor. But, just to be different with my other classmates every time people ask me about my ambition I will say that I wanted to become a dentist. It still doctor, but in particular dealing with mouth, teeth, tongue and whatnot. So from that particular time onwards, for five years I stick with that one ambition of becoming a dentist. I was so proud of that ambition at that time which haul me to post a picture of mine and my ambition to a kid’s magazine. I still have a copy of that magazine which publishes my picture and ambition as a token of memories for me.

After PMR, I wanted to join boarding school just to not to stay at home because am tired of being nagged and scolded each day. I submit an application to join a technical school and they send me to Pahang taking civil engineering as my major. So, once more I revolutionize my ambition and this time I wanted to become an architect. So I hang about and learn at that school and after a while I realize that I am suck with numbers and physics. But, I have no other option but to stay and learn as I really enjoy the hostels life which gave me the privilege of staying far away from home. So I stay.

Now after years of intermingle around with my varsity colleagues and learning mass media, Public Relations and whatnot; I realize that ambition is a very complex words. One can set their targets but whatever they are going to become is a constant blur until the time they apply to join the labor force. I realize that there’s so much things to be taken into accounts before one can make up their mind and choose which organization or working atmosphere they wanted to join. So, the best ambition for me to have now is to find an appropriate job which meets with my qualification and most important thing to be taken into consideration is the salary they pay. What will happen will happen, No??? Whichever it is we reap the results of our actions... Screwed!

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